Speech Problem!
by RimaHanabusa819
Summary: Think before you speak... Here are 10 reasons why you should think before you speak. These are sadly personal experiences myself, my mate, and our children have had. Although one is not mine, still it applies to the situation! Have you ever spoken and wi
1. Think Before You Speak!

Disclaimer : Dont Own Inuyasha!

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Speach Problem!

By: Izayoi Tashio 18 , with help from Ekie, my best guy friend.

(He came up with the concept)

Chapter Title: Think Before You Speak!

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Full Summary :

Think before you speak... Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak. These are sadly personal experiences myself, my mate, and our children have had. Although one is not mine, still it applies to the situation! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? These Are Kagome's Testimonials!

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FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my mate and two kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My mate didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the gentlemen who worked at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My brother and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My brother started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my brother has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow  
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Tashi had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No.' I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Tashi, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Tashi did you have an accident?' This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the country of Japan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.  
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked 'So Daichi, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'  
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Remember, we all say things we don't really mean,  
so think before you speak!!

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Oneshot!


	2. Law Enforcement, Squirrels, And Bonding!

Disclaimer : Dont Own Inuyasha!

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Speach Problem!

By: Izayoi Tashio 18 , with help from Ekie, my best guy friend.

(He came up with the concept)

Chapter 2 : Law Enforcement, Squirrels, And Bonding!

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Thank you to :

UnicornEva, Luna-Chan96, impulse960

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Full Summary :

Think before you speak... Here are 4 more reasons why you should think before you speak. These are sadly personal experiences myself, my mate, and our children have had. Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? These Are Kagome's Testimonials!

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FIRST TESTIMONY:

I was at work yesterday when a gentleman came in wife and children in tow. I didn't recognize him untill he told me his name. He was a police office that usually came in, in uniform, but was in civillian clothes. Since he was not in his uniform I said to him. "Oh! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" It was akward because I quickly realixed what I'd said. Fumbling to explain myself his wife laughed and said. "Don't worry about it! You have no idea how many times I've heard that!" Safe to say I will never tell my mate about this!

SECOND TESTIMONY:

While eating at WacDonalds the other day my daughter was acting up. She was old enought to know better being 12 years old and all. Just being silly I said to two detectives sitting at the table across from us. "I'm leaving her here with you! Put her to work if need be."

6 years down the road a family member of ours passed away. While at the visitation the same two detectives were there. As I walked past them I said. "Thank you for coming." To which one replied. "Your welcome, do you still need us to take your daughter? Or is she being good now?" I replied. "She is being good, but you can still take her if you want to." Over hearing our conversation my mate approached us, with a straight face he stated. "Take them both, I desperately need peace and quiet. Angry I turned to him and replied. "You ain't gettin a piece of this, so be quiet." All eyes fell on me. Leaving I yelled to the heavens. "WHY DO I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THING??"

THIRD TESTIMONY:

While on the way to doctors office today my son said something that had me busting with laughter. As we backed out of the driveway and got to the end of the road I turned. At the side of the road was a squirrel holding a nut in his mouth. As the squirrel ran across the road infront of the car I stopped. I didn't want to hit the squirrel, he was so cute. So I waited for him to cross the road, while waiting my son said the funniest thing I had ever heard. He turned to me with excitement in his eyes and exclaimed. "Mommy look, that squirrel has his nuts in his mouth!" To add insult to injury he told everyone he saw about the 'Squirrel carring his nut's in his mouth.' The doctor, the PA, even a homeless man. But the real fireworks started when we got home, and he told his father. When we walked in the door my mate asked me how it went. I couldn't help myself, so I turned to our son and spoke. "Tell your father what we saw today honey!" His eyes lit up and excitement once again crossed his face. I had told him he couldn't tell anybody about it, it was to be our secret. Still I couldn't help myself. Jumping on his father's lap he began his story. "We went to the doctors today, you know what I saw daddy?" So my mate replied. "No son what did you see?" Flailing his arms around he finished. "A Squirrel daddy. And guess what? He was carrying his nut's in his mouth!" With that exclimation my mate began laughing so hard he fell off of his chair and hit the floor. Usually the stoic, aloof, serious one. Our son easily had him in stitches.

FOURTH TESTIMONY : 

This one is kinda graphic. You have been warned

I was at a club with my friends, mate, and brother-in-law last night celebrating for the company merger we won today. I don't drink much, and alcahol has little affect on my mate. His brother is a different story, seeing as how my mate was paying for everything, he let himself nearly drownd in it. The party was going good, but he never really knows when that last drink was one too many. So we ended up having to carry him out of there. Deciding to let him crash at our place for the night, when we got there my mate dropped him harshly on the couch waking him up. As his sleep clouded eyes turned to me, and in the most serious face I had ever seen him have he asked me. "K'Gome?" To which I answered "Yes?" Turning to me he asked. "You wanna bond?" I answered "Sure why not!" Not noticing my mate standing in the doorway, his smirk crept forom ear to ear. Continuing he said. "K... I'll dip... Dip my balls in... In your mouth... You'll gag... And well both... Have a... A... A Laugh." And then promptly fell back asleep with a loud snore. Mortified, and a blush covering most of my body my mate burst into peels of laughter. I will never look at my brother- in-law the same again!

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After much deliberation I have decided to continue this. I don't know how long it will get, but I hope you enjoy!


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